Okay... so my last post was a little on the depressing side. And deservedly so... I was depressed. I still am I guess, only now it's mellowing out.
The move to NYC helped me add the excitement that had been severely lacking in my life as of late. The adventure I needed to occupy my mind and keep me from going crazy. But the problems will always be here no matter what I do.
I'd been trying to move to NYC for sometime now. And it never seemed to be the right moment. I even met someone up here. He was amazing. And not in the over-the-top chic flick way... but in the refreshing and very real way. We'd been talking online for almost 2 years before we'd met in person. I was finally close enough to NYC that a weekend trip wasn't outrageous and expensive. And he completely spoiled me. Great food, great beer & wine, great company and his family was amazing. He treated me better than anyone had in my entire life besides my parents. A good guy through and through. The weekend was perfect and we quickly made plans for another one. Which was even better (despite my nose-diving life at the time). He surprised me with tickets to see my favorite band, and introduced me to his college friends.
Maybe I read to much into it. I don't know, and I will probably never know. For shortly after that for reasons I still dont understand our friendship seemed to just evaporate suddenly and completely. No more late night AIM conversations and hours txting back and forth. It's hard to go from constant communication to none. I lost my outlet for conversation. I lost my friend. And I still don't know why. It's hard. But it's life, my life.
So here I am, living in NYC and loving it except for the fact that the friends I had hoped to have aren't talking to me. What made it worse was the month of "yeah we'll see each other soon I promise" that I got to enjoy. I prefer the no contact to that actually. I got tired of the disappointment.
My job is fun. The people I work with great. I wish the hours and pay could be better, but I'm getting by. Maybe it's good that I don't have hang out buddies up here since I can't afford to go out anyway...
I've been cooking a lot. Hopefully this blog will turn into something better.
Hopefully I'll find someone human to talk to, because my cat just likes to eat my face. Which I guess in a way makes me feel better. I'd be lost without her.
