You know what's not fair? I've been alive for almost 23 years now... and while my early childhood really doesn't count... I've been dating guys for ten years now. And in these ten years... I've never had a boyfriend on Valentine's Day... and I've never been kissed on New Year's. I always get so depressed during holidays where it's almost like the rest of the world gets to flaunt their relationships.
My heart just aches to be filled with love again. Surrounded by people and I feel alone and useless.
Happy Fucking New Year =\
31 December 2007
29 December 2007
My Hopes for 2008
I have created this new blog in hopes that it will help me on my path to becoming a strong and independent [adult] woman. I am graduating from college in 5 months, and with this final ceremony I shall be ready to take my place in the world. But there is so much that I must mentally prepare myself for.
This blog will guide me, by using it as a sounding board where I can post my hopes and my dreams for the upcoming year.
My Career
Upon returning home for Christmas break, I was approached by the Artistic Director of my hometown theatre. She has offered me a full-time position as a Stage Manager, both of the new Black Box Theatre and the Youth Conservatory Programs. When I am not working in these jobs, I shall be serving as ASM for all Main Stage productions, helping around in the Box Office, set construction, or anything else that could possibly be done. I am so excited to work here, as this gives me the opportunity to work with some of the best people in the business. Our Artistic Director, Peggy Taphorn, is bringing in some of her friends from Broadway to use Temple as a place where they can preview their new shows before sending them on to open up in NYC. I will be learning from the best, and that excites me more than I ever imagined.
From Temple, I plan on going to either LA or Las Vegas for a little while. What I really want to do is try to go to LA during "Pilot Season". Go to audition after audition trying to get parts on new TV shows being pitched to the networks. And... it's really silly... but I want to work in an "Amusement Park" setting like Disney World... or even Universal Studios when the new "Harry Potter" park opens. I want to make children smile, and believe that even their favorite characters can come to life. What happened to imaginations, and childhood dreams?
My Love Life
I have always been unlucky in love. Over the past few years, from High School on, I've had this horrible knack for falling for guys who either want to use me or who can't seem to ever just... be with me. There was always something holding them back. Everyone I talk to tells me that I'm obviously doing something wrong. But what? It is true that I keep few close friends. I have one best friend, and he is almost impossible to replace. The men that I let close to me, I do it for a reason. I trust them. I enjoy having someone that I can cuddle with and fall asleep with while watching movies. I've never really been a fan of "Friends with Benefits". It's great for some people, but not for me. A guy said to me it was because I'd never tried it, I don't really talk to him anymore because of it, which sucks... 'cause he used to be a good friend of mine. Am I being a silly prude? I don't believe so. I'd rather be alone than used by my "friends".
What I want... is to be with someone who wants to be with me. Not just my body. Why can't everyone be like P? He made me feel so good about myself everyday. Just by smiling at me and telling me how much he loves my smile. Or how beautiful I was even though I had horrible bed hair. We could sit around and play video games all day, or go on crazy and silly road trips to nowhere. He is so funny, and he makes me smile. I love him dearly. I'm just so lost... maybe this year will bring clairity?
Love,
Sari
This blog will guide me, by using it as a sounding board where I can post my hopes and my dreams for the upcoming year.
My Career
Upon returning home for Christmas break, I was approached by the Artistic Director of my hometown theatre. She has offered me a full-time position as a Stage Manager, both of the new Black Box Theatre and the Youth Conservatory Programs. When I am not working in these jobs, I shall be serving as ASM for all Main Stage productions, helping around in the Box Office, set construction, or anything else that could possibly be done. I am so excited to work here, as this gives me the opportunity to work with some of the best people in the business. Our Artistic Director, Peggy Taphorn, is bringing in some of her friends from Broadway to use Temple as a place where they can preview their new shows before sending them on to open up in NYC. I will be learning from the best, and that excites me more than I ever imagined.
From Temple, I plan on going to either LA or Las Vegas for a little while. What I really want to do is try to go to LA during "Pilot Season". Go to audition after audition trying to get parts on new TV shows being pitched to the networks. And... it's really silly... but I want to work in an "Amusement Park" setting like Disney World... or even Universal Studios when the new "Harry Potter" park opens. I want to make children smile, and believe that even their favorite characters can come to life. What happened to imaginations, and childhood dreams?
My Love Life
I have always been unlucky in love. Over the past few years, from High School on, I've had this horrible knack for falling for guys who either want to use me or who can't seem to ever just... be with me. There was always something holding them back. Everyone I talk to tells me that I'm obviously doing something wrong. But what? It is true that I keep few close friends. I have one best friend, and he is almost impossible to replace. The men that I let close to me, I do it for a reason. I trust them. I enjoy having someone that I can cuddle with and fall asleep with while watching movies. I've never really been a fan of "Friends with Benefits". It's great for some people, but not for me. A guy said to me it was because I'd never tried it, I don't really talk to him anymore because of it, which sucks... 'cause he used to be a good friend of mine. Am I being a silly prude? I don't believe so. I'd rather be alone than used by my "friends".
What I want... is to be with someone who wants to be with me. Not just my body. Why can't everyone be like P? He made me feel so good about myself everyday. Just by smiling at me and telling me how much he loves my smile. Or how beautiful I was even though I had horrible bed hair. We could sit around and play video games all day, or go on crazy and silly road trips to nowhere. He is so funny, and he makes me smile. I love him dearly. I'm just so lost... maybe this year will bring clairity?
Love,
Sari
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